J.R. Johnson

This!
The Gender Politics of Pockets by Tanya Basu.

Conditions are ripe for a revolution in pockets for women…

Go ahead and laugh if you like, but if you do I will argue that (imho) you are probably male. In my experience men often don’t realize that women’s pockets can be a total sham. This is why I liberated my father’s 1960s suit from the back of his closet in my teenage years (well, that and my flings with Vespas and British ska). This is why I adore the idea of Saint Harridan‘s suits for women (inside pockets ftw, people!). This is why I spent a not-insignificant amount at my local tailor to have the front pockets in my new jeans boosted to adult size. Yes, I do want to carry more than a tube of lip gloss in there. Crazy talk, I know!

I don’t use a purse.* You wouldn’t either if you spent as much time as I do thinking about disasters and alien invasions and the zombie apocalypse. When that sort of thing happens you just have to run, you know? Can’t be stopping to find your designer bag. And then what? You’re out in the forest with no phone or money or credit cards or keys or hair band (don’t even get me started on women and hair in action movies**). If I must carry larger items I go for the backpack. (And yes, I two-strap it:)

Addendum: For those of you who want more on the long history (and sad demise) of women’s pockets, check out this useful Marketplace article on the subject: Why women’s pockets are useless: A history. Thanks to my mother, who remembers having similar thoughts 40 years ago, for the link.

* I find them a hassle, easy to forget in inconvenient places, tough on the shoulders, and prone to removal by passing ne’er-do-wells. Although I do like saying “ne’er-do-wells.”
** I’ll just mention that when Sarah Connor tied back her hair in Terminator 2, I cheered. Honestly, have these people never tried to fire a rifle on a windy day with long hair? Not recommended.