Ever had one of those low-stakes issues that are like a tiny splinter, not a serious problem but still annoying? Of course you have. We all have triggers that bug us, some shared (fingernails on a chalkboard, anyone?) and some a little more niche.
For example, I hate the corporate buzzword “learnings.”
It’s not a real word! It is a solution to a non-existent problem, designed only to signal in-group status for aspiring wielders of upper-level business speak.
Note: The word was published in the 15th century by one Geoffrey de La Tour-Landry, but later fell out of fashion. It is now considered “an erroneous plural form of the colloquial term ‘learning’”.
That 15th century author said “the thre enseygnementes or lernynges whiche Cathon gaf to his sone.” Dear business buzzword types, will you also revert to other spellings from half a millennia ago? Giveth me a break.
Seriously, what is wrong with the word “lessons”?
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Ooh, this gives me an opportunity to use the internet for its highest and best purpose, looking up random weirdness and reveling in possibly correct but certainly entertaining results. Let’s translate a modern-day sentence into Shakespearean English.
English to Shakespearean Translator
If thee necessity to inventeth a new tongue to feeleth bett’r about thy occupation, art thee certes t’is the c’rrect occupation f’r thee?
While we’re having fun, here’s a version for Mr Man. He has a soft spot in his childhood heart for the cultural icon that is The Swedish Chef:
Iff yuou hefe-a tu infent a nuo luonguoege-a tu feel better ibuout yuour jub, ire-a yuou suore-a it is zee-a right jub fur yuou? Bork Bork Bork!
And finally, an article assuring me that I’m not the only one who finds bizspeak annoying, and also helps me find a bit of chill.
Why business speak is so irritating — and what we can do about it
It’s normal and useful for people within a company or field to have their own names for specific kinds of tasks or projects. But when overused, Sokolowski notes, buzzwords can become a code for a kind of professional language that is “substituting for authenticity.”
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“We should be generous with others and recognize that maybe the words we hate aren’t the same words that other people hate, and that we should allow words to have their own power and to carry meaning,” he added.
Fine, fine. Like I said, it’s a pretty low-key issue for me.
It’s true that language is ever-evolving and that we all have fun shaping it to our current needs. (Please see my aforementioned use of the portmanteau word “bizspeak” above.) I’ll try to be reasonable about it.
And that concludes my language-related learning lesson* for the day!
* Nope, sorry, can’t do it!
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J.R. Johnson 
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