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Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

A Little Humor for These Times

Posted in Funny, Writing, tagged , , , on February 15, 2025| 1 Comment »

Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City

by Mike Drucker

It’s so easy to label people these days. From the way folks have been talking, you’d think everyone falls into two buckets: those who voted against the mayor who promised to blow up the city and those who voted for the mayor who promised to blow up the city. And now that the mayor, whom I voted for, is blowing up the city, as he promised, I’m one of many people who are being unfairly blamed for something I didn’t want. Okay? I didn’t want the mayor to blow up the city like he mentioned many times; I just wanted him to fix the old bowling alley like he promised in passing once.

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Photo by Paul Engel on Unsplash

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Expect Reckless Posting

Posted in Funny, tagged , , , , , on January 16, 2025| Leave a Comment »

I’ll be working on a cake recipe this weekend, and I’m thinking about it now. As I mentally work my way through possible iterations and prepare to release this recipe into the world (or at least the personal archive that is this blog), I’m thinking of this funny piece:

Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?

Look, I get it. You thought what you posted was innocuous. Still, did you stop to think about everyone who has ever lived and how it could make them feel?

I mean, it’s cake and not chili, but no, no I did not.

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Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

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Humor, That’s the Ticket

Posted in Funny, Other, tagged , , , , , on November 14, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe – McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

The arc of the moral universe is running very late. It’s sitting in standstill traffic behind a fleet of Amazon delivery vans, a burning Tesla, and a stretch limousine with Truck Nuts.

The arc of the moral universe is leaning on the horn.

The arc of the moral universe shouldn’t have stopped for that latte.

The arc of the moral universe owes you an apology.

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Photo by Kyle Wagner on Unsplash

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No Knights Need Apply

Posted in Funny, Writing, tagged , , , , on April 3, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Is your troll of boss driving you crazy? Are you tired of the backbreaking work involved in cleaning up after Medusa? Or having to answer three questions from the Sphinx before you can get through the employee entrance? I’m sorry (and may I suggest you add an axe of cold iron, a very shiny shield, and a riddle book to your daypack?).

Still, this job posting is here to remind you that things can always be worse!

Dragon Hoarding Enormous Pile of Treasure Seeks Unpaid Intern – McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

The work is not just coffee-fetching and gold-polishing — you will gain plenty of on-site experience. Past interns have been lucky enough to watch a knight be brutally murdered. Successful interns are detail-oriented, unafraid of random bursts of fire, and able to jump at least three vertical feet to avoid a swinging, razor-sharp reptilian tail.

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Photo by János Venczák on Unsplash

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Bright Colors, Happy Tone

Posted in Funny, Writing, tagged , , , , , , on January 17, 2024| 1 Comment »

I’d hoped to carve out some writing time today but instead I’m dealing with a lot of weird tech issues, some of which are concrete problems and some just disappointments.

Here’s an example of the latter. Note the prompt.

AI prompt: A metal cyborg unicorn bright colors happy tone

No, AI. Just… no.

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The Mustache, An Abbreviated History

Posted in Funny, Other, tagged , , on November 9, 2023| Leave a Comment »

As we enjoy Movember, a.k.a. the month where men either grow facial hair in support of men’s health, or use it as an excuse not to shave, here is A hairy history of the moustache.

And just because, here’s a mustache-related ditty written by Stephen Foster:

This movie was 100% historically accurate, I’m sure.

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Photo by JJ Jordan on Unsplash

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You’ll Go Down in History

Posted in Funny, tagged , , , on October 30, 2023| Leave a Comment »

On the off chance that you’ve been sitting on iron-clad evidence of alien activity, this one’s for you.

Ring is awarding $1 million for capturing extraterrestrial activity

The contest, open only to Americans at least 18 years old, is to capture “unaltered scientific evidence of a real extraterrestrial lifeform” with a Ring device.

Videos must be submitted by Nov. 3, 2023, at 11:59 p.m. 

I mean, if you do happen to capture an alien on camera, I’m pretty sure it won’t matter where you come from or what kind of device you used. 

You’ll still go down in history.

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Photo by Albert Antony on Unsplash

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TANSTAAFL

Posted in Food and..., Funny, tagged , , , on June 5, 2023| Leave a Comment »

For those of you unfamiliar with the acronym used as today’s post title, it stands for “there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.” The exact origins of this phrase are unknown, but I was introduced to it by Robert A. Heinlein in his novel The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress.

The phrase came to mind today as I attempted (emphasis on) a new recipe for a no-knead high hydration baguette recipe. I’ve used this approach for a version of Mark Bittman’s bread recipe with great success, so why not try it here?

This is why not:)

Not what I’d call workable dough.

I won’t name the recipe I used because it seemed to work fine for the author, but it in no way shape or globulous form worked for me.

At least I had some fun.

Next!

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Photo by Diane Helentjaris on Unsplash

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For the Love Of

Posted in Funny, tagged , , , , on February 25, 2023| Leave a Comment »

I’ve just written a whole post and then realized it would be a better fit next month. I’d write something else but the cat is sitting on my foot yowling to be fed. 

Loudly.

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.”

― Charles Dickens

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Photo by Jan Kopřiva on Unsplash

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Awesome All Around

Posted in Funny, Writing, tagged , , on December 12, 2022| Leave a Comment »

Today in excellent news:

First Official Unicorn Husbandry License Given to Intrepid Young Girl in California

“Dear LA County, I would like your approval if I can have a unicorn in my backyard if I can find one,” wrote a girl named Madeline.

You have to appreciate the fact that 1) this kid knows what she wants, i.e. a unicorn, 2) is willing to go through proper channels to ensure that there are no legal difficulties should she achieve that goal, and 3) that the Department of Animal Care and Control came through. 

Happy hunting, Madeline!

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Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

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