Posted in Likes, tagged #365Ways, #LicenseToChill, funny, Thoughts, winter on November 15, 2021| Leave a Comment »
Woke to snow. Not much, more of a light dusting that’s already melting off darker surfaces, but rooftops and lawns are white and dog walkers are all wearing toques.
This brings up a critical question: Why don’t we name our snow plows? Scotland does it, and it is awesome.
Which is my favorite? Right now it’s a toss-up between William Wall-ice and License to Chill.
Welcome to winter!
* * *
Posted in Funny, Science!, Writing, tagged #365Ways, comics, Excel ate my brain, funny, NASA on April 29, 2021| Leave a Comment »
So I’ve spent most of today neck deep in Excel, working out some data processing issues and building an archive. My inner librarian was happy:)
That said, my brain is just about frazzled. So much code! This is about my level of humor/maturity at the moment:
He he.
Posted in Funny, tagged #thebalance, funny, home, Motivation, persistence, Thoughts on January 22, 2019| 1 Comment »
Ever have one of those days where it seems like everything goes a little wonky? I think of it as The Balance.
***
Many item drops in video games are randomized but still seem to follow a pattern. It’s as if “randomness” is spread over a thousand rolls of the dice, and has to balance out in the end. So if you’ve gone days without getting a decent drop, suddenly you get three great items. Or if things have been going your way, you get a sudden run of bad luck.*
I find this happens in real life too. Some days everything goes perfectly, but other days?
Not so much.
Some days, if there’s a cord to trip over, I trip. If there’s a remote to drop, it’s dropped. And if the cat decides to get into the closet and eat dry cleaning bags, you can be sure that any effort to stop said behavior will result in a catastrophe of much greater proportions.
Like what, you might ask? Like thwacking one’s head against the treadmill desk holding your breakfast smoothie and having it all come tumbling down.
Everywhere. On everything. And then spending the next two hours cleaning it up.**
That was no fun but it’s actually kind of nice to have such things concentrated into one day. At least you know it’s coming and can prepare accordingly.
The Balance. It’s not real, but it might be true;)
(As an added bonus, now I know how to disassemble my treadmill:)
***
* I know this isn’t how randomness and statistics work, I’m just saying that some days, that’s how it feels.
** Someone needs to investigate the usefulness of chia seeds’ gel coating for adhesive. So sticky!
Posted in Funny, Likes, Writing, tagged artists, awesome, creativity, Dolly Parton, Fiction, funny, inspiration, persistence, quotes, science fiction, sff, space pirates, speculative fiction, Thoughts, work, Writers, writing on June 1, 2016| Leave a Comment »
I realized that I have been trying to write a serious version of what is clearly a goofy, rollicking space pirate adventure. Obviously!
That led me to recall the following wisdom from a modern-day sage (who should know):
Figure out who you are. Then do it on purpose.
― Dolly Parton
Posted in Holidays, Writing, tagged creativity, funny, neil gaiman, quotes, Thoughts, work on May 25, 2016| 1 Comment »
Have been unavoidably detained by the world. Expect us when you see us.
― Neil Gaiman, Stardust
Posted in Funny, tagged funny, home, Spring, Thoughts, winter on March 23, 2016| Leave a Comment »
My father and his partner have been off on a delightful trip to Florida and other parts South, and I just received this postcard (bright red circles added for annoyed emphasis):
This would be amusing if my front yard did not currently look like this:
Welcome to Spring, Canadian style. I’ll admit, the card’s not funny, it’s hilarious. Because it’s so true!
Now, where’s my shovel?
Posted in Likes, Science!, Writing, tagged #crapweek, #emergencycake, #FeatheredFrangolianFlowersofPlanetP, #healthforwriters, @docmikeevans, @jasperfforde, advice, bacon, exercise, funny, health, Jasper Fforde, quotes, science, Thoughts, work, Writers, writing on January 20, 2016| Leave a Comment »
“Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can’t be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.”
― Jasper Fforde
I love Jasper Fforde‘s work, and some days a good book filled with witty humor and amusing characters are exactly what one needs to perk up. But if the week’s been rough and a book (or bacon or a bath or tea) don’t work, here’s advice from someone who should know, Dr. Mike Evans.
Dr. Evans is a physician and scientist who also puts together terrific animated explainers on health topics for the rest of us. The one I’ll bring to your attention today, dear readers, is perhaps perfect for a Wednesday:
Now, my week is going ok. Or at least not bad. I’m getting things done (although not as much as I’d like) and I’m thinking hard about ongoing projects (why are they still “ongoing”? get to it, Johnson!) and charting out goals and cooking up ideas and recipes. (In fact, I’m so embroiled that I had a hard time settling on one topic to write about. Maybe tomorrow you’ll get that essay on The Great British Baking Show or the migratory mating habits of the Feathered Frangolian Flowers of Planet P;)
Still. Sometimes you just have a bad week. For those of us who spend a lot of time working in our heads, in particular, a little external perspective can come in handy.
Once you’re back on track, Dr. Evans also has another great video useful even in weeks where things are going swimmingly:
Because health reasons!
…
And if none of that works, well, there’s always cake:)
Posted in Food and..., Funny, Holidays, tagged #Terminator+Matrix=Nonsense, family, funny, gratitude, home, john scalzi, science fiction, Thanksgiving, Thoughts, yay on November 26, 2015| Leave a Comment »
For all those in or of the United States, Happy Thanksgiving:)
For the first time I can remember I’m not back at my familial homestead partaking in traditional Thanksgiving Day festivities. The decision not to travel makes sense but it’s still a little weird, not least because I’m in a country where they celebrated the holiday last month (now that’s weird;).
So I’m a little sad with the missing of the family (not too sad, though, as I’ll see them in a few weeks) but feeling thankful for all the wonderful people in my life. I hope you are too.
Let me leave you with a link to John Scalzi’s science fictional Thanksgiving Day grace, which he wrote as a handy guide for those who may be called on to lead their tables in thanks. This timeless classic includes such gems as:
We also thank you for once again not allowing our technology to gain sentience, to launch our own missiles at us, to send a robot back in time to kill the mother of the human resistance, to enslave us all, and finally to use our bodies as batteries. That doesn’t even make sense from an energy-management point of view, Lord, and you’d think the robots would know that. But in your wisdom, you haven’t made it an issue yet, so thank you.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted in Writing, tagged artists, Brian Staveley, creativity, Fiction, funny, genre fiction, sadly true, speculative fiction, Tor.com, Writers, writing on January 5, 2015| Leave a Comment »
There’s a very funny piece by Brian Staveley today over at the Tor/Forge blog titled “Three Ekphrastic Dialogues; or NO DUAL WIELDING UNTIL BOOK THREE.” Or at least it would be funny, if it weren’t so true;)
SCENE ONE
Setting: Book One of the Epic TrilogyIn the first scene the WRITER is bright-eyed, fresh-faced, and recently showered, perhaps even wearing a jaunty blazer. The CHARACTER looks confused, wary, even a little frightened.
…
Character: If I have a life of my own, why can’t I shave my…hey! HEY! What the hell just happened?
Writer: Your house burned down. That guy in the black cloak did it.
C: You made him do it.
W: Sorry. Needed an inciting incident.
Apologies to every character I’ve put through the wringer:) See the full post for the hilarious, somewhat potty-mouthed conclusion…
J.R. Johnson 
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