Funny | J.R. Johnson

Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Awesome All Around

Posted in Funny, Writing, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2022, excellent on December 12, 2022| Leave a Comment »

Today in excellent news:

First Official Unicorn Husbandry License Given to Intrepid Young Girl in California

“Dear LA County, I would like your approval if I can have a unicorn in my backyard if I can find one,” wrote a girl named Madeline.

You have to appreciate the fact that 1) this kid knows what she wants, i.e. a unicorn, 2) is willing to go through proper channels to ensure that there are no legal difficulties should she achieve that goal, and 3) that the Department of Animal Care and Control came through.

Happy hunting, Madeline!

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Some Other Monday

Posted in Funny, Writing, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2022, creativity, Thoughts, writing on October 3, 2022| Leave a Comment »

It’s Monday so life could be better, but I somehow pulled out a two on Wordle this morning so things aren’t all bad.

Written on some other Monday. Today, 5/6.

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Working Working

Posted in Funny, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2022, cat herding, home, inspiration, Thoughts on August 3, 2022| Leave a Comment »

My version of that one (super true) cat meme:

Also, kitty needs a new bed.

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Cream of the Crop

Posted in Funny, Writing, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2022, creativity, Fiction, free fiction, genre fiction, science fiction, Writers, writing on July 28, 2022| Leave a Comment »

While chatting with my father about a sci-fi book he’s reading, I remembered this short bit of free fiction from John Scalzi. Now I share it with you, too.

When the Yogurt Took Over: A Short Story | Whatever

When the yogurt took over, we all made the same jokes – “Finally, our rulers will have culture,” “Our society has curdled,” “Our government is now the cream of the crop,” and so on. But when we weren’t laughing about the absurdity of it all, we looked into each others’ eyes with the same unasked question – how did we ever get to the point where we were, in fact, ruled by a dairy product?

Enjoy!

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Me, If I Mathed

Posted in Funny, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2022, creativity on April 7, 2022| Leave a Comment »

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*Photo by Thomas Despeyroux on Unsplash*

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Shiver Me Timbers!

Posted in Funny, Science!, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2022, creativity, geography, inspiration, map projections, pirates, Thoughts on February 8, 2022| Leave a Comment »

I may have mentioned that I am entertained by maps, clever science jokes, and not-too-scary pirates. This xkcd comic ticks all the boxes.

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Posted Without Comment

Posted in Funny, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2022, cats, inspiration on February 5, 2022| Leave a Comment »

*Photo by What Is Picture Perfect on Unsplash*

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Follow-On Report Regarding The Status Of My Action Matrix

Posted in Funny, Other, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2021, #BizBuzz, #istheresuchathingasnegativeinspiration, ramen, silliness, Thoughts on September 21, 2021| Leave a Comment »

To Whom It May Concern,

Enclosed please find an updated version (below) of my recently-submitted action matrix. I am happy to report that it encapsulated a number of actionable tasks, and allowed me to pivot in order to capture value from low-hanging fruit, as well as formulate a plan to circle back for future forward-facing goal-setting opportunities while absorbing a number of critical learnings.

Translation: some stuff was done, some stuff was not done. I might get to it later, but yeah, that’s not happening now. Now it’s time for lunch!

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*I want ramen. I don’t have it, but I want it. Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash*

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The Key Word Is “Temporarily”

Posted in Funny, Likes, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2021, Covid-19, Thoughts, vaccination on July 9, 2021| Leave a Comment »

We’re not fully protected yet; we got our second shots today and need to wait a couple few weeks for full potency. (We were given Moderna because they’re saving all the Pfizer for the younglings. I am 100% down with that.)

Of course, we’ll still be following all health department guidelines. Plus, yeah, stupid variants are out there throwing a stupid wrench into things.

That said, this kind of progress feels oh so good. While at the vaccination center, it was really quite touching to see my fellow Canadians doing their part, for themselves, their families, and their community. Here’s to keeping us all safe!

(I still don’t want to clean, though! 🙂

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