Posted in Other, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2025, funny, inspiration, something nice on October 30, 2025| Leave a Comment »
Some days you just need to watch a baby elephant play with a pumpkin. If today is that sort of day for you, you’re welcome!
A baby elephant stole the show at Oregon Zoo’s pumpkin-smashing event | AP News
A baby elephant at the Oregon Zoo had more tricks than treats to show when handlers gave it a small pumpkin to play with during an annual fall event where giant elephants smash half-ton pumpkins.
Freaking adorable.
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Posted in Funny, Writing, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2024, funny, genre fiction, inspiration on April 3, 2024| Leave a Comment »
Is your troll of boss driving you crazy? Are you tired of the backbreaking work involved in cleaning up after Medusa? Or having to answer three questions from the Sphinx before you can get through the employee entrance? I’m sorry (and may I suggest you add an axe of cold iron, a very shiny shield, and a riddle book to your daypack?).
Still, this job posting is here to remind you that things can always be worse!
Dragon Hoarding Enormous Pile of Treasure Seeks Unpaid Intern – McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
The work is not just coffee-fetching and gold-polishing — you will gain plenty of on-site experience. Past interns have been lucky enough to watch a knight be brutally murdered. Successful interns are detail-oriented, unafraid of random bursts of fire, and able to jump at least three vertical feet to avoid a swinging, razor-sharp reptilian tail.
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Posted in Likes, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2021, #LicenseToChill, funny, Thoughts, winter on November 15, 2021| Leave a Comment »
Woke to snow. Not much, more of a light dusting that’s already melting off darker surfaces, but rooftops and lawns are white and dog walkers are all wearing toques.
This brings up a critical question: Why don’t we name our snow plows? Scotland does it, and it is awesome.
Which is my favorite? Right now it’s a toss-up between William Wall-ice and License to Chill.
Welcome to winter!
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Posted in Funny, Science!, Writing, tagged #365Ways, #365Ways2021, comics, Excel ate my brain, funny, NASA on April 29, 2021| Leave a Comment »
So I’ve spent most of today neck deep in Excel, working out some data processing issues and building an archive. My inner librarian was happy:)
That said, my brain is just about frazzled. So much code! This is about my level of humor/maturity at the moment:
He he.
Posted in Funny, tagged #thebalance, funny, home, Motivation, persistence, Thoughts on January 22, 2019| 2 Comments »
Ever have one of those days where it seems like everything goes a little wonky? I think of it as The Balance.
***
Many item drops in video games are randomized but still seem to follow a pattern. It’s as if “randomness” is spread over a thousand rolls of the dice, and has to balance out in the end. So if you’ve gone days without getting a decent drop, suddenly you get three great items. Or if things have been going your way, you get a sudden run of bad luck.*
I find this happens in real life too. Some days everything goes perfectly, but other days?
Not so much.
Some days, if there’s a cord to trip over, I trip. If there’s a remote to drop, it’s dropped. And if the cat decides to get into the closet and eat dry cleaning bags, you can be sure that any effort to stop said behavior will result in a catastrophe of much greater proportions.
Like what, you might ask? Like thwacking one’s head against the treadmill desk holding your breakfast smoothie and having it all come tumbling down.
Everywhere. On everything. And then spending the next two hours cleaning it up.**
That was no fun but it’s actually kind of nice to have such things concentrated into one day. At least you know it’s coming and can prepare accordingly.
The Balance. It’s not real, but it might be true;)
(As an added bonus, now I know how to disassemble my treadmill:)
* I know this isn’t how randomness and statistics work, I’m just saying that some days, that’s how it feels.
** Someone needs to investigate the usefulness of chia seeds’ gel coating for adhesive. So sticky!
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Posted in Funny, Likes, Writing, tagged artists, awesome, creativity, Dolly Parton, Fiction, funny, inspiration, persistence, quotes, science fiction, sff, space pirates, speculative fiction, Thoughts, work, Writers, writing on June 1, 2016| Leave a Comment »
I realized that I have been trying to write a serious version of what is clearly a goofy, rollicking space pirate adventure. Obviously!
That led me to recall the following wisdom from a modern-day sage (who should know):
Figure out who you are. Then do it on purpose.
― Dolly Parton
Posted in Holidays, Writing, tagged creativity, funny, neil gaiman, quotes, Thoughts, work on May 25, 2016| 1 Comment »
Have been unavoidably detained by the world. Expect us when you see us.
― Neil Gaiman, Stardust
Posted in Funny, tagged funny, home, Spring, Thoughts, winter on March 23, 2016| Leave a Comment »
My father and his partner have been off on a delightful trip to Florida and other parts South, and I just received this postcard (bright red circles added for annoyed emphasis):
This would be amusing if my front yard did not currently look like this:
Welcome to Spring, Canadian style. I’ll admit, the card’s not funny, it’s hilarious. Because it’s so true!
Now, where’s my shovel?
Posted in Likes, Science!, Writing, tagged #crapweek, #emergencycake, #FeatheredFrangolianFlowersofPlanetP, #healthforwriters, @docmikeevans, @jasperfforde, advice, bacon, exercise, funny, health, Jasper Fforde, quotes, science, Thoughts, work, Writers, writing on January 20, 2016| Leave a Comment »
“Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can’t be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.”
― Jasper Fforde
I love Jasper Fforde‘s work, and some days a good book filled with witty humor and amusing characters are exactly what one needs to perk up. But if the week’s been rough and a book (or bacon or a bath or tea) don’t work, here’s advice from someone who should know, Dr. Mike Evans.
Dr. Evans is a physician and scientist who also puts together terrific animated explainers on health topics for the rest of us. The one I’ll bring to your attention today, dear readers, is perhaps perfect for a Wednesday:
Now, my week is going ok. Or at least not bad. I’m getting things done (although not as much as I’d like) and I’m thinking hard about ongoing projects (why are they still “ongoing”? get to it, Johnson!) and charting out goals and cooking up ideas and recipes. (In fact, I’m so embroiled that I had a hard time settling on one topic to write about. Maybe tomorrow you’ll get that essay on The Great British Baking Show or the migratory mating habits of the Feathered Frangolian Flowers of Planet P;)
Still. Sometimes you just have a bad week. For those of us who spend a lot of time working in our heads, in particular, a little external perspective can come in handy.
Once you’re back on track, Dr. Evans also has another great video useful even in weeks where things are going swimmingly:
Because health reasons!
…
And if none of that works, well, there’s always cake:)
J.R. Johnson 
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